The Woes of Love and Sex
by cweam and cheese
Summary: “WHAT!” Sakura screamed, looking absolutely furious, “Are you telling me that I was chosen randomly just so I could become someone’s ‘sex partner’? The thing Irukasensei told us about ‘dividing abilities equally’ was all bullshit? SaixSakxSas
1. The Law

**Yes, the title is stupid. I only had five seconds. This is a short chapter.**

**-Update-**

**Reposted because of you lovely people**

_-_

_The Woes of Love and Sex  
Chapter One: The Law_

_-_

He stretched his pale limbs before running his fingers nimbly through his dark locks. He was tired and worn from their recent mission but Kakashi had insisted that the team should have a talk on some important matter before retiring. He looked around and saw Naruto, sprawled on the grass while Sakura sat upright like him. He let his gaze linger on her, taking in her profile and the little details that contributed to her eternal beauty.

Her headband was snug and secure in her soft pastel locks. Her forehead seemed even bigger from the side, but it wasn't unpleasant to his eyes. In fact, it was cute and charming and made her look harmless which was ironic. Many knew what lay behind her abnormally large forehead.

A brain that granted her high intelligence and wit.

He noticed that her pale eyebrows were puckered in confusion, possibly wondering the purpose of the meeting. He rubbed several blades of grass with his fingers before staring at her beryl-green orbs. They were usually wide and innocent, the strange metallic specks in her eyes dancing. But now, her eyes were fierce and focused on her sensei who was idly fanning himself with his orange book. He could tell she was impatient, her constant frowning and the biting of her lower lip gave it away.

She was so easy to read, an open book that was laid out for anyone who was interested to read. On rare occasions she would try to shut herself from the world when she was upset. Her body seemed to betray her at these times and it was be blatant that she was hiding something. Only her eyes obeyed and magically became cryptic and harder to read.

His gaze trailed down her elegant neck, the curves of her breasts...

He tore his eyes away from the female and back to Kakashi who had just cleared his throat. Whatever their masked teacher had found important discuss was now carefully planned. Sai frowned, if it was about their performance on their recent mission and how his remark about Naruto's manhood had caused the irritated blonde to give away their position…well, there was no excuse except for his own entertainment of course.

He heard the blonde sit up, "This better be important Kakashi-sensei! I'm so hungry!"

Kakashi did not scold Naruto, instead he pocketed his book. Naruto and Sakura's shared looks of shock, "What is going on?" Sakura mouthed. It was well known that Kakashi was rarely found not flipping through his beloved book.

"Did any of you ever wonder why we put a female in each group when we divided you into groups back when you were genins?"

Sai stared back at Kakashi with a blank face; he had not participated in the division. He chewed on his tongue for a moment and decided to give it a shot, "Is it because females are the weaker sex and they have to be protected?" he suggested with an innocent face. He heard the familiar hiss and cracking of knuckles and smirked inwardly.

"Is it because males are stupid, reckless and irresponsible? Did they need a girl to keep them in check?" Sakura asked, her expression equally as innocent as Sai's; but her voice was strained and was laced with venom.

Kakashi sighed and rubbed at his exposed eye, "A long while after Konoha was founded, a big problem occurred. The ratio for males to females was 10:1. It was hard for men to find wives or… sexual relief because of this. A large series of rapes began. Little girls from the age of 5 would be raped and their corpses would litter the streets." He started, not stopping for breath. Clearly, this was not a comfortable topic for their cool leader.

Naruto's cerulean orbs were wide with horror and disbelief; the pink-haired female had a similar expression on her face.

"All these rapes had caused to ratio to increase. It became 20:1 and Konoha was frenzied with panic. There was a law passed that called for immediate execution for those who raped the girls of Konoha. The men found a loophole around this law. They began raping women of other villages which caused uproar and almost a war."

Goosebumps formed on Sakura's arms as horrible scenes ran through her mind.

"Then someone proposed a new idea. He suggested that at least one female is to be placed within the groups of ninjas. And the female ninja in the group would become the sex partners of her other male comrades."

There was an uncomfortable silence as the jounin paused to let the message sink in.

"WHAT?!" Sakura screamed, looking absolutely furious, "Are you telling me that I was chosen randomly just so I could become someone's _'sex partner'_? The thing Iruka-sensei told us about 'dividing abilities equally' was all bullshit?"

"Of course the kunoichi wasn't chosen _randomly_." Kakashi said hastily, "Iruka didn't lie about that."

Sai looked at Sakura. She was breathing hard and was bright red in the face. He saw Naruto staring at Sakura as if seeing her in a whole new light. "That's a stupid idea!" Sakura gasped, wiping the sweat off her forehead. "Yes, I agree with you Sakura. But it did help decrease the number of rapes, and if not that; what else _could _they do?"

_Silence. _

"D-do we have to? What if Sakura-chan gets married?!" asked Naruto, squirming.

The dark-haired ninja rested his finger on his lips; a bit confused on the whole matter. He racked his brain in order to remember the definition of sex. He closed his eyes and sifted through the files in his head. He knew all 999 ways to kill an enemy with a piece of paper and how to remove a heart with a pair of chopsticks.

_Sex. _

**_Sex. _**

**_Sex._**

Oh yes, to engage in sexual intercourse. Now what the fuck did that mean, exactly? He rubbed his temples and cursed himself for the lack of knowledge.

"Well the males usually find their own sweethearts before the female actually does." Kakashi explained. "Most of the time, a male comrade falls in love or lust with the female and they end up marrying. But if the female is married, she is off limits to her male comrades."

Kakashi's lone eye traveled from one face to the other, "I was actually supposed to tell you guys when you were thirteen or fourteen." He confessed gravely. "They give you a year to get close and forge close bonds with your teammates so that it wouldn't be so awkward. Obviously, you're only going to be willing to sleep with your partner if you share a certain level of trust. There was a perk, actually; missions seemed to go more smoothly since the whole team was comfortable with each other." The silver-haired male tried to lighten his tone in order to cheer up his female student.

The roseate shivered; it was hard enough to think about doing _it _with Naruto... She glanced at the pale skinned artist who was staring blankly past Kakashi, probably lost in his penis-land or something like that. She gagged involuntarily. They could give her a century and she still won't be comfortable with being in the same room as _him. _

"So yeah, that's about it. If you have any complaints or interested in attempting suicide; go to the Godaime." He finished, fishing out his book.

Sakura stood up stiffly and walked away. "Uh, Sakura-chan? Are we still going to go eat ramen later?" Naruto asked feebly. She froze, "…No, I forgot I had to do something…for Shizune-san." She gave him a small smile. Sai grinned inwardly, the smile was false. It probably looked apologetic to Naruto but he could see that it was actually forced.

He stood up quietly and headed for is apartment. A quick shower and he was going to visit the library to research. Even Naruto seemed to understand the concept of sex more than he did, no way was he going to let dickless know more than he did.

**-**

**End of Chapter**

**-**

**I am in a desparate need of betas. I want someone I can trust, someone who won't go stealing and running off with my work. And someone with experience. I'm not looking for only one so you are all welcome to volunteer.**

**Also if you would like to suggest a new title for this fanfiction, I will gladly accept one that I find most fitting.**

**I'll update when you review!**

**P.S. Feel free to point out my errors.**


	2. The Mission

**I****'****d like to give a shout out to all my reviewers that encouraged me to continue writing, and those who told me my story sucks.**

**Marsgoddess1, ****Trunksmybaby, ****elena taicho,****furryhatlover2543****, Bellar, KarmaLord, ****naru-hotty****, Jax9, MistressMustang, ****Mistress DragonFlam****e, ****al2010****, sakuratears19, ****christinarr****, MysticalSpirits, ****inuyasha's ****t****ennyo, ****Chelsea, ****kattylin, ****lilika808, ****MrsWuggles, ****crystal, ****SakuraHottie13, ****Goatis, ****Kenya, ****dreammist4ever, ****Angelusfaith, ****theonenameleft, ****'uniquegirl, ****quivering quill, ****LoveGaara, ****CrimsonRain47, ****fantasy4luvr, ****dark Alley, ****sasukegrl, ****FakeCompassion, ****Akito Udahare, ****Rene2, ****shadow-inu14, ****LittleFoxDemon, ****XxDarkAngelPrincessxX, ****fangirlqueen, ****marikoluvsanime, ****XOMs.MistletoeXO, ****i-dream-of-vincent-valentine, ****Kisekilotus**

**I love you all so much I****'****d bang you all if I knew where you guys lived. Teehee.**

**Btw, this chapter is dedicated to Marsgoddess1 because she was my first reviewer for this story.**

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

_The Woes of Love and Sex  
__Chapter Two: The Mission_

It was still and quiet in the library except for the continuous ticks from the wooden clock that was hung up on the wall across from him. It was getting quite late but he managed to slip in some sleeping pills into the librarians' tea. It was a habit he picked up when he became obsessed with his research. Luckily the librarian did not suspect the dark-haired ninja of poisoning him; he merely blamed his old age.

It was a bit past ten, he had at the library for almost six hours. He had no idea that sex was such a general topic. He spent thirty minutes skimming through books about feminism. Then spent nearly an hour reading about how sex affected the mind. He managed to find a book on teen sex but it too was useless because it only told him about the consequences of not using protection; and graphic details of abortion.

All the other books (that were stacked neatly into a tall tower) seemed to beat around the bush. Even the book that was titled, _Sexual Intercourse, _only gave him pictures of both male and female sex organs, pregnancy and how sex could help you burn carbs. His attempt at understanding sex was proving to be futile. The large number of books that he had read did not cover what exactly occurred during the intercourse. Why hadn't his studies at ROOTS covered anything on this intriguing topic?

He was wandering random aisles, uncharacteristically tense. There was a whole bookcase in the adult section that featured one series. His fingertips slid across the spines of the familiar books. Orange covers with the words _Make-Out__ Paradise _written on the cover. There were also books titled _Make-Out Violence. _Kakashi, who always looked tired of living; seemed to always have one on him and usually seemed very engrossed when reading it.

He found the first volume and gently pulled it out. There was a warning about explicit content on the back and warned minors to not read the book. He was seventeen…close enough. He opened the book and became immediately immersed. The first page alone was about two individuals _"__doing it__"_. His head spun; there were words that he had never come across before.

He flipped to the next page and wrinkled his nose in disgust. There was a crude picture that helped the reader visualize the scenes in the book. He did his best to ignore how amateur the drawing was and pulled the book right up to his face and studied the picture intently.

A man and a woman with obscenely large breasts (The woman! Not the man!) were intertwined with each other. He frowned, it wasn't a pretty sight but he took note of the woman's' euphoric face; and where the man's hands were placed. He continued reading, stumbling over foreign words and taking more mental notes from the pictures.

"You're from Kakashi's group aren't you? I knew he would rub off of _someone._" A man's voice boomed. He turned to look at the man who seemed to be extremely skilled in masking his presence. He recognized the large man as one of the legendary Sannins; Jiraya. He bowed deeply, honored to be so close to someone so powerful and famous. "Aren't you a little too young to be reading that?" the white-haired man asked, his eyes narrowing accusingly.

He put on a fake smile and shrugged. Jiraya's eyes sharpened, "I was wondering why the lights were still on in here. It should have been closed hours ago. You were the one who slipped in the drug into the librarians' tea?"

Sai paused, his false smile was unfaltering; "It was necessary to extend the time for my research."

"Research?"

"Yes, on sex."

"Why?"

Sai was beginning to become irritated. This man was wasting his precious research time, but this _was _one of the Sannins; he couldn't just ignore him. "Adolescence, I guess." Sai lied, not wanting to explain everything to this man, "…I think I have found the answers to all my questions in these books." He gestured toward the shelf with his gloved hand.

"Ah." Jiraya replied, rubbing his chin smugly; "_My_ books are pretty amazing. Sharp, aren't you?"

Sai glanced at the cover and sure enough the Sannins' name was inscribed on it. "It's very intriguing." He said at last; "Except the drawings are so _juvenile_."

The white haired man belted out a laugh; "Oh?"

His patronizing tone would have infuriated anyone without Sai's even-tempered trait. "Yes, it's filthy. It's unpolished and sloppy. You can tell by the uneven and rough strokes that the artist had rushed this."

Sai had also calculated the possible palm and finger lengths that had produced such poor work. "Shading is incorrect also. Also, the text tells us that the woman is red-haired. But in the picture, her hair is almost brown. And speaking about hair, this slob probably scratched his dirty hair while working which caused this smudge and discoloration right here."

His dark blank orbs scanned Jiraya's face; he could tell that the man was trying hard not to show that he was impressed. "Hm, Aoi-san is a dirty alcoholic. But I didn't employ him, my publisher did. Unfortunately, my publisher had informed me recently that Aoi-san had drunk himself to death after his third wife left him. They asked if I could help them find a new illustrator. So, you seem to know a lot about art; too bad you're too young."

Sai shrugged, "That didn't stop me from reading this."

The man laughed again, "How about I give you a mission?"

Sai's ears perked up, a mission from one of the legendary Sannins. "I'm searching for a new illustrator for my series. I want someone with black hair, black eyes…" he listed, his eyes running over Sai. "…underage…" he continued, raising his white eyebrows conspiratorially.

"What rank is this mission?" Sai interjected. Jiraya let out a chuckle which displeased Sai who was taking this very seriously. "Make it A-rank. Actually, S-rank; because if someone like Tsunade found out…" he trailed off, his wizened lips twisting into a small smile. "I won't be here for another 2 weeks…so just make sure your 'friend' drops off his work at this place right here." Jiraya instructed, scribbling an address on a piece of paper.

He handed Sai a small stack of papers that was bound together with some string, "Rough copy of the next volume." Sai nodded a grim expression on his face; he was determined to put his all in order to succeed in his new mission. "You still haven't told me your name boy."

"It's Sai." He said smoothly. Jiraya's hand engulfed Sai's in a handshake, "Nice meeting you. Good Luck."

_Poof _

He was gone.

Sai stared blankly at where the huge man once stood. He would have to finish this mission quickly and efficiently. He almost never drew people because he did not have anyone that he had remembered or wanted to draw. He stopped and let his mind wander back to his pink-haired teammate.

He ran his fingers nimbly through his dark locks, his mind was usually void of all thoughts and now it was strangely filled with things to do. He glanced at the shelf filled with identical orange books and looked at the orange book in his hand. He balanced everything in one arm and pulled out Volumes 2 and 3. He then strolled down another aisle and selected some books on the human anatomy and some other books to help him master the basics of drawing people.

_"More research."_ He thought, strolling calmly out of the library without sparing a glance at the drugged librarian.

Research was everything.

-

She bit her lip nervously, and tapped her foot while leaning back on the wooden bridge. She folded her arms, then let one support her head. She blushed as she recalled the meeting the day before. Gross. She would have to see her comrades in a totally different way. They were no longer just teammates…they were men. Hormone-crazed men that can basically have their way with her and get away with it.

Gag.

She tapped her cheek with her index finger angrily. She had been tossing and turning all night because of this new found dominance that Naruto and Sai had over her. She had seen the blonde grow and progress through his awkward stages. She still saw him as a boy and she loved him in a sisterly way. Sakura knew that Naruto was still infatuated with her and what if he wanted to…

She felt like tearing her hair out.

She turned violently and gripped onto the wooden railing of the bridge. She stared at her reflection as she gulped in air. She looked like a mess, her face look sickly pale, there were dark shadows under her eyes and her hair was rumpled from pulling on it. She jiggled her foot anxiously and imagined Naruto holding her hands and kissing her.

_Crunch _

She had gripped onto the railing too hard and had damaged it a little. She absentmindedly pulled out splinters while asking herself a question, **"What if Naruto has cooties?"** She slapped herself mentally, trying to get the small voice out of her system.

**"He could have cooties."** Said the small timid voice in the back of her head. Sakura huffed and turned away from her reflection. "_Cooties, don't exist__ stupid. _" She assured herself.

**"What if they did? You never know. You should give yourself a cootie shot just in case. You've never ever even touched a guy before."** Warned the voice, in a seductive purr.

"YES I HAVE! I touch a lot of guys when I'm working at the hospital! And I've touched Naruto before and I didn't drop dead!" Sakura said aloud.

**"I heard it's pretty fatal, there's no way to cure it. Only a way to prevent it."** Said the voice, it was growing fainter.

"No one believes it or has it." Sakura said, with a little conviction. Her confidence was fading because that stupid voice was so sure and mysterious. It could even be God warning her for all she knew.

"**Are you sure?"** the voice asked mockingly.

"Y-Y-Yeah!"

**"Better safe than sorry…"** Then the voice was gone.

"Stupid bitchy voice…" The female ninja cursed. She turned back toward her reflection and stared blankly at herself for a while.

_"Maybe I should do it."_ She thought, turning bright red at her childishness. She glanced around to see if anyone was around. Satisfied, she held out her right wrist in front of her. "CircleCircleDotDotNowIGotTheCootieShot…" she chanted furiously, drawing patterns with her left hand on her right wrist. "…CircleCircleSquareSquareNowIGotThemEverywhe--"

"What are you doing, Ugly?"

She screamed and shot several feet off the ground. She fell back on her butt and clasped her hands around her beating heart. She drew in a shaky breath and turned her head to the side to acknowledge her rude comrade. "N-Nothing Sai." She felt cold and clammy as if she was caught doing a crime. She glanced directly into his eyes for a second before looking away.

"What? Is it a new jutsu that helps you endure the pain of looking at your own reflection?"

Sakura growled as her fingers twitched for a kunai, she was feeling quite crabby because she didn't get any sleep last night. "You know what's even more painful than looking at me?! Your brushes shoved up your ass. So shut the fuck up and leave me alone." She snapped irritably, her sleepless night was starting to affect her. She glared into his eyes threateningly.

Her defiant stare faltered as she noticed that he too had dark bruises under his eyes. She picked herself up and pretended to busy herself by dusting off her skirt. It was hard to not look at Sai, he reminded her so much of _him. _She wondered why he did not sleep the night before. She watched as he sat under a tree and pull out a sketch pad from the corner of her eye.

She kept sneaking small peeks at her artistic teammate. His skin was very pale, as if the sun had never touched it. Her thoughts trailed back to Sasuke and his pale complexion. They both had dark black hair but Sasuke had streaks of midnight blue in his. Their hairstyles were also completely different. And Sasuke definitely wasn't a penis-obsessed jerk.

Well, he is kind of a jerk because…and he could be penis-ob---

_Shut up!_

She shook her head and leaned back on the railing. She sat down on the hard planks of the wooden bridge and yawned widely before shutting her eyes, Kakashi wouldn't be there for another 4 hours; might as well---

-

_Thun-kump_

Sai heard the strange thump come from the bridge where the pink-haired kuniochi was standing seconds before. His brow arched with vague interest as his brain registered that she was unconscious. He sat still and quietly for five seconds, trying to detect any hidden enemies that could have knocked her out. He stood up and walked towards Sakura when he could not sense anyone.

He peered down at her form and let his gaze sweep her body several times to find anything that could have poisoned her. There was none and he knew that she was not under any genjutsu. He knelt down next to her to check her breathing.

"What the hell?"

He could hear faint snoring. He looked at her closed eyes and could see dark circles under them. He scolded her silently for letting fatigue take over and leaving herself so vulnerable. If she was tired, sparring with her wouldn't be very fun. It was strange for a kuniochi of her caliber to be overcome by exhaustion. He sat down across from her, and flipped through the pages of his sketch book impatiently; catching glimpses of his previous sketches he had done the night before. He had never been so displeased with his art until now.

The book he had studied on how to draw human bodies were not producing the results he wanted. He had mastered the basics and could easily draw the stiff mannequin figures that were illustrated in the book.

Too bad he didn't want mannequin porno.

He wanted to draw real humans with graceful curves here and there. He had drawn his own body and it had produced much more realistic work that had pleased him. Unfortunately, his drafts of the female anatomy did not come out the way he wanted them to. Maybe it would be better if he could find a girl to model for him.

He tapped his pencil steadily against his pad and looked around with a bored expression. His gaze fell on his teammate who was now sprawled comfortably on her stomach. Her left cheek was pressed against her arm while the other arm was tucked under her chin. Her silky locks partially covered her peaceful face. One of her slender legs was bent while the other lay flat.

He blinked once and readied his pencil.

She would become a model for him, which was the least she could do if she was not going to be able to even fling a kunai in his direction later.

He stared at her shapely legs, deciding to begin there. He quickly sketched the hard ridges of her sandals and the tiny bumps of her toes that peeked through her sandals. His gaze slid over to her legs. With one masterful stroke, he had imitated the curve of her bent leg on paper. He did not tear his eyes away from her to check his progress on paper. He did not have to because every stroke he made was already etched into his mind.

He was adding in the details of her skirt now, adding in creases and folds. He stopped abruptly as his model stirred. She groaned and laid on her back. Her face was now turned away from him; her left arm rested on her stomach and her right leg was raised and bent.

He glanced blankly at his unfinished work, unable to conjure up any feeling of anger or frustration unlike _normal _people. He calmly flipped over to a new page and poised his pencil over the new sheet. He decided to start with the head this time. His pencil danced on the paper as he mimicked the curls of her pink tresses. He paused again after adding the details to her neck.

The red top she always wore suddenly bothered him. It was bulky and did not fit snug and tight to her figure. Her top masked the curves that he wanted to draw. He pressed his knuckles against his cheek. He could just reach over and pull the zipper down easily. But then again, he knew it was unethical to just strip someone while they were sleeping. He spun his pencil lazily before calculating the number of bones that were sure to be broken if Sakura awoke during the process.

He had made his decision, there was a reason why this was an S-rank mission. He had to put his life on the line if necessary. Balancing his pad and pencil under one arm, he reached over and held the small zipper between his index and thumb. He stopped when he heard someone approaching a few meters away. Just by the erratic footfalls, he could tell it was Naruto; running excitedly to Sakura.

Sai jerked away from the unconscious body and jumped a few feet away. He knew that the Jinchuuriki would probably tell Sakura what he had been trying to do if he saw. The blonde was only a few feet away now, grinning wildly. "Hey." Sai greeted with a fake smile. Naruto's face fell, turning sour as he saw Sai, "Hey." He grumbled back.

His azure orbs settled on to the body between them, anger flared abruptly. "What the hell did you do to Sa---?!" Sai appeared behind Naruto and placed his hand on his big mouth.

"MNNnerGH!"

"I advise you not to scream so loudly or you'll wake her up. I don't think Ugly over there would hesitate to kill you if you did."

"…!!"

Sai let go of his loud teammate after a few seconds, "I didn't do anything to her. She just fell asleep." He added, staring directly into the accusing sapphire eyes.

Naruto still looked at the dark haired ninja with suspicion in his eyes. "Sakura-chan would never…" They both glanced at the medic-nin. "She looks like she didn't get any sleep last night." He muttered.

Sai watched his blonde comrade closely, Naruto kept sneaking glances at the unconscious female and blushing. It was obvious what cerulean-orbed ninja had in mind. Sai wondered if they would allow him to observe if they ever did get intimate.

"So, are you planning on how you are going to seduce her?" Sai asked nonchalantly, leaning back on the trunk of a nearby tree.

"WHAT!" he screamed, turning bright red. "Y--" He stopped in mid-scream to look over his shoulder at Sakura who was once again, shifting positions.

"Naruto…kill…you…" she mumbled with a feeble wave of her arms. Naruto gulped nervously. "What is _wrong _with you! You bastard!!" he hissed angrily.

The dark-haired teen shrugged and flashed a phony smile. "I was just wondering how dickless people like you have sex."

Naruto was now even more crimson and furious, "I AM NOT---"

_Poof_

A small brown dog appeared on the blondes' spiky head, "Oy! You two. Kakashi's canceled training today. Peace."

_Poof_

The dog was gone but it left a little present on top of Naruto's head. "Hey, what the…CRAP!" he exclaimed as he touched the pile of poop on his head. Sai wrinkled his nose in disgust. Naruto shot Sai an angry glare as if this was his entire fault. "What's the matter, Naruto-kun?" he asked innocently.

Naruto growled and raised a fist threateningly; "I am going to kick your ass!" he seethed. The orange-clad ninja, bent over Sakura; "Hey, hey! Sakura-chan! Kakashi canceled the training. Let's go get some ram—"

"Ennergh…" she groaned.

"Erk!"

_POW!!_

Her fist connected with his jaw, sending the poor boy to kingdom come…and back. She flopped back comfortably on her stomach, burying her face into her arms. Sai turned and took several steps, heading for his apartment; displeased that he had wasted time here when he could have done more research on the figure of a female.

His hand brushed the hard edge of his sketch book in his pack. He pulled it out once more and looked through all the pages of the mannequins that he had sketched. He tore them out, one by one; tossing them into the wind. He stopped when he reached his most recent sketches of Sakura. They were tolerable.

He glanced at her sleeping form and wondered if she would be willing to let him draw her undressed. If she was not, he would not be able to accomplish his mission. Jiraya had already doubted him from the start and Sai had his pride as an artist to maintain. He walked over to the roseate and examined her body once more. He might lose an arm or a leg, but he was eager to impress the Sanin.

He gently maneuvered her body to his back and cradled her bottom. He made sure she was sound asleep before jumping to a nearby tree branch. He kept his balance even with his extra burden. Sakura was going to help him whether she liked it or not.

-

**End Chapter**

-

**Yes, I know some of you are like, ****"****Where****'****s my lemon you bitch!? You promised me some hard-core sex!****"**

**Yes well writing a lemon would probably take me another month ****and I**** don****'****t want to keep my loves waiting. But I swear on my empty Starbucks cup that there will be a lemon in the next chapter.**

**And now you****'****re probably like, ****"****I waited a whole fucken****'**** month for my lemon and I want it now!****"**

**Yes well I do have a life and as much as I would love to waste my life away ****I****n front of my PC typing up the next chapter****; I can'****t because I**** have school to worry about and my three part-time jobs.**

**So I am very sorry for letting some of you perverts down.**

**Oo, I have the perfect title for the next chapter.**

_The Woes of Love and Sex  
__Chapter Three: The Promised Lemon_

**P.S. Feel free to tell me ****that**** my writing is uber-noobness and that my stories suck.**

**P.P.S. If you****'****re wondering about who****'****s going to be my beta****…Drum roll**** please.**

**-****Drum roll****-**

**It****'****s****…no one**

**Thank you all those who volunteered, I am very grateful. But since I ****received**** so many offers, I didn****'****t want to reject the other gazillion volunteers; I decided to just not get betas or I****'****ll never be able to go to sleep; knowing that I had rejected people. ****Even though editing is the part I hate the most; I****'****ll just have to cope with it.**

**-Edit-**

**P.P.P.S. Two-some or Three-some?**


	3. The Promised Lemon Part 1

Ah, very long story to explain why I couldn't finish this chapter by Christmas. Since it'll take a chapter to explain I'll just apologize.

I want to thank my supporters and flamers.

Mistress DragonFlame, Goatis, inuyasha's tennyo, quivering quill, 'uniquegirl', GinGaara, Jax9, kazster, fangirlqueen, Rene2, LittleFoxDemon, theonenameleft, XxDarkAngelPrincessxX, sushx3fanatic, dark Alley, animeaddict99, JenKonoha, kaji enzeru, FakeCompassion, naru-hotty, SakuraHottie13, Bellar, BlueIceWolf, mintxrain, Tevana, RandomLuv, DojomistressAmbyChan, kattylin, sailorwaterprincess, dreammist4ever, tianen, Mary [SecretDesire, i-dream-of-vincent-valentine. Firithnovwen, angel101devil, Angelusfaith, bella-fiore, MrsWuggles, NaMiKaZe, Wayward Victorian Girl, Kenya, some one, Ali871, Leilani Daniels, esta, LitoxShorty, al2010, Flainorkeyblade, Reimei Hoshi, nekoshio-san

This chapter is dedicated to animeaddict99 and FakeCompassion because their reviews gave me the giggles. And to tianen because he has reviewed frequently for all of my fanfictions and is faithfully waiting for Lost Chances. And finally Mary [SecretDesire. I really enjoyed the emails we sent to each other. Hm, I think I'm missing some people.

Last chapter, Sai had decided to challenge death by taking Sakura somewhere private.

_The Woes of Love and Sex  
__Chapter Three: The Promised Lemon__ Part 1_

The pink-haired maiden that lay on the futon stirred. _"__Mmm...__Comfy.__"_She thought, shifting to her side. The soft fabric under her felt unbelievable soft and cool. She groaned quietly, her body felt stiff and it hurt to move. Her tongue felt dry and leathery, and her throat was like sandpaper.

She yawned and stretched vigorously until all her limbs were fully responsive. She began to rub her eyes lazily, getting rid of all the excess rheum.

"You're awake."

"…!!!" Sakura forced her eyes opened, ignoring the burning pain. She turned her head slightly, locking gazes with her dark-haired teammate who was holding a blue plastic cup. She blinked several times to confirm that this was no dream or hallucination, "Where am I?" she asked, cringing at the sound of her raspy voice.

"My apartment." He replied, taking a sip from his cup while calmly surveying her.

She turned her head to the other side and back, taking in her unknown surroundings. On her left, was a wall adorned with a few paintings. She turned her head in Sai's direction. She saw easels, paint and few several large containers that were filled with brushes placed on a mat on the floor. Nearby, a table with many scrolls, books, more brushes and paint was pushed carelessly under an open window. There was also a small open kitchen at the other end of the room.

The air was slightly tainted by the scent of ink and paint. As neat as Sai always seemed to appear, his apartment was messy and strangely homey. "Why'd you bring me here? What happened to training?" she murmured, shutting her eyes.

"Cancelled."

"Mmhm."

She heard him move around and place his cup on the table. "You seem very comfortable." He commented. She opened one eye and watched him pick up a pad of paper and pencil; taking a seat on a small stool. "Give me a few more minutes to stretch." She replied lazily, thinking that he was hinting that she should get her ass out of his bed.

"Take your time. Do you usually sleep like that?" He asked while sketching. Sakura frowned and scratched her stomach. Her teammate seemed strangely amused, his eyes on hers as his pencil continued to dance on the paper; unattended. A light blush brushed her cheeks; he had probably witnessed one of her more violent slumbers, with a lot of punching, kicking, drooling and talking.

"W-What do you mean _like that?_"

He glanced down at his sketch, and then back at her; "Do you normally sleep without any clothes on?"

"…What are you---" She gasped, realizing her hand was resting on her** bare **stomach. She shrieked at the sight of her naked body. She sat upright, grabbed the pillow, and placed it in front of her; obscuring her body. She shrank away from Sai, her back touching the wall and wrapped her long legs around the pillow securely.

The dark-haired ninja stared blankly at her, flipped to a new page and started a new sketch. "What the hell do you think you are doing?! Why'd you undress me? Where are my clothes!" she yelled, her face flushed; her beryl-green orbs moist with anger and humiliation.

"I believe I took you here, undressed you, hid your clothes, watched you while you were sleeping and now I am listening to you bark away like a dog." He replied nonchalantly, his gaze traveling back and forth from his pad and her.

Sai looked at Sakura's shocked countenance and flashed a false smile. "You really do look like an ugly dog with your mouth open like that."

The enraged kunoichi snapped her mouth shut and growled, "You. Sick. Dirty. Perverted. Bastard. You are so DEAD!" She spat, instinctively reaching to tighten her gloves. She became even more infuriated when she remembered that Sai had taken those off of her. She clutched the pillow to her chest tightly with her left arm while charging her right fist with chakra.

She lunged at with a murderous intent. Sai jumped for a scroll laying open on the table and grabbed a brush. He quickly summoned a snake that wrapped itself around Sakura's ankles; causing her to lose balance. She fell forward into Sai's awaiting arms. "I was expecting that."

She groaned in effort to stop her head from spinning, she looked up at him with a dazed expression. She could see her vague reflection in his dark, empty eyes. She pushed herself off him after realizing the proximity of their bodies. He reached out and grabbed her wrists, "You're going to fall." He reminded her quietly.

"I-I don't…Well this…There…" she stuttered, suffering from a loss of words because of her embarrassment. Her ankles were bound tightly leaving her unbalanced, and Sai was holding onto her wrists; looking quite pleased. She hung her head, looking at the dark snake that encircled her ankles. "Get this thing off." She mumbled.

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"I swear Sai, there are other things that you should be afraid of right now; wait till I get my hands on you…" her voice shaking with fear or anger, she wasn't sure. She squirmed, trying to wretch her legs and arms free.

_What did he do while I was asleep? _She asked herself, her lower lip trembled at the possibility. Angry tears started to augment the ashamed ones. "You can try, but you won't succeed. It's different from the one you broke last time." Sai informed, remembering the time when she had unbound Naruto with her own hands. He pushed her gently, she stumbled and fell back on the futon.

She grabbed the blanket and pulled it over her nude form. "What do you want?" she asked, glaring daggers at him. Sai could tell that she was trying to be brave, but he did not miss the tremor in her voice and the quiver of her plump lips. He paused to think of the reason of her fear, "I didn't take advantage of you, if that's what you are suspecting." He started, idly spinning a brush between his fingers and retaking his seat on the stool; "Actually, it's forbidden to indulge in such a worldly sin." He said with a false reassuring smile.

Her viridian orbs narrowed in suspicion. He wasn't lying though. He was to _be _without any vice. There should be nothing that would distract him from his missions. You were to have no desires or interests whatsoever. Any form of luxury was looked down upon. If you catch someone's attention, you're in trouble. You can lie, you can cheat, you can steal but stay away from alcohol. Like the walls of a room, you only exist to serve as a foundation. Walls didn't have needs or fears. They are there and serve a great importance but they are overlooked by everyone.

"Then, tell me why you brought me here and did _this._" She motioned her naked body. He dropped his smile and looked out the open window. The sun was setting, spraying its fiery rays into the sky and the room. He could practically feel her eyes clawing at him. It was annoying, she asked too many questions. In ROOTS, the answer to your question would be a hard slap on your face; followed by a cruel punishment. There was to be no questions asked, just do as you are told.

"I was curious." He lied, remembering not to reveal the mission.

As expected, his answer only infuriated Sakura. "WHAT?! CURIOUS?! IT'S CALLED PORN YOU SICKO!"

"I wish that you would stop making so much noise, people might hear." He said quietly, gently brushing the tip of his brush on his finger.

"Well, I WISH that they DO hear BECAUSE the WORLD should know that YOU ARE A BIG PERVERT!" she shouted, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"Or, they will hear the final screams of the victim of a murder." He said in the same dangerous tone, he stopped his idle brushing and looked up to her shocked expression. "Are you _threatening _me?" she asked, her green orbs hardening like emeralds.

"You started it." He replied with a false smile. She ground her teeth, she had a feeling that Sai wasn't telling the truth. But he was unreadable and her increasing rage made it hard for her to think rationally. "Just give me my clothes and free me." She ordered, rubbing her temples. He stared at her blankly, got off his stool and closed the space between him and the futon in two steps.

She shrank back and huddled under the sheets. "And what if I didn't free you or give you back your clothes?" he asked, his voice light and teasing.

Her eyes widened, "I- You- I'll- I'll punch your face in." she threatened lamely. _Oh God, Don__'__t let him come any closer _She thought. He took a step back, "All I want to do is draw you. You are quite pretty." He took another step back and looked at her, "Beautiful really." He murmured. She turned bright red at his comment, "Draw me?" she asked, trying to keep her voice leveled. Couldn't he think of a better excuse?

"Yes. Nothing sexual."

"Nothing sexual." She repeated, her face glowing even brighter as she uttered the last word. He nodded. She glared at him again. He was definitely hiding something. From the short time that she had become acquainted with Sai, he had presented himself as someone who was straight forward, rude and brutally honest. And now his responses are indirect and he complimented her instead of insulting her. Her heart pounded erratically, _"__He thinks I__'__m pretty?__"_

In a blink of an eye, he pulled her out of bed and wrapped his arms loosely around her to keep her steady. "Trust me. I'll free you if you agree to cooperate." She bit her lip and tried to ignore the fact that her naked stomach was brushing his muscled one. "Fine." She sighed.

He was going to unbind her and as soon as it got dark enough, she was going to jump out the window. There was too much light right now, the possibility of someone spotting her running around naked was huge. He knelt down on one knee, the snake was gone with a splatter of ink that quickly faded. He examined her briefly.

"Ok, I need you to stand on…" he tossed the stool near her feet, "…that."

She hesitated and glanced at the open window, the light was fading very slowly; she climbed onto the stool. She crossed her arms over her chest and used one leg to partially cover the other. She looked at everything but Sai who was selecting a pencil; she chewed on her tongue in order to fight off the feeling of awkwardness.

Here she was, standing on a stool, revealing her naked glory to a male comrade she barely knew. When she was younger, she had always worn tighter clothes to accentuate her small curves in order to attract Sasuke. She had grown her hair to a great extent and always worried about her appearance; always wishing that she was one of the "lucky" girls who had developed early and had much more curvier figures.

Then as the years passed, she did develop steeper curves she had grown to be ashamed of. Her tan skirt was successful in concealing her well-rounded behind. And her red top did not cling onto her figure as well as the one she wore when she was younger. And now what she had tried to hide was all revealed to Sai.

Sai turned his dark eyes on her with a criticizing look. "I'm not drawing a saggy old lady. Stand up straight, hands at your sides and look forward." He ordered sharply. She let out a shaky breath, restraining herself from mauling the male. She did as she was told, praying to every holy being to miraculously make the sun go all the way down. She also added her desire for Sai to be struck by lightening.

Sakura squirmed, already feeling her joints stiffening. She cast an annoyed look at the dark-haired artist who seemed to finish a sketch every few seconds. He walked around her, with his pad secure and his pencil flying. His eyes roamed around her body freely and with extreme intensity. She could feel her cheeks redden again. He abruptly stopped drawing as they locked gazes.

"Anything wrong?" he asked emotionlessly. She shook her head, being unable to find her voice. "Then stop staring, it's annoying." He said before resuming his sketches. She twitched with anger, her lips firmly shut against dangerous words that threatened to lash out. She then forced herself to check if it was dark enough outside.

She grinned victoriously, the sun was almost set; already she could spot some stars. Sai noticed this too and turned on some lights. "Um, why don't I change position? I think you drew enough of me standing like this." She suggested, forcing herself to keep a straight face. "Maybe you can draw me sitting, by the window." Right now, Sai was standing between her and the window.

In order to increase her chance of escape, it was better to be standing closer to the window. He finished his sketch with a flourish of his pen. He flipped lazily through his sketches critically, "Fine." He said at last. Sakura cheered quietly and stepped off the stool, rejoicing with every step. She was only a foot away from directly standing in front of the window when he grabbed her wrist.

He twirled her around so that she faced him. Her face fell as realized that her escape would be delayed. "The light hits you best here." He explained. Her mind whirred, "Well, can you pass me the stool so that I can sit?" she asked, hoping that when he had his back turned; she could hop out the window.

"No, I don't want you sitting." He placed his hands on her shoulders, "Trust me." He reminded her as he felt her stiffen. His hands glided down her slender arms. He marveled at their smoothness. Grabbing her left hand, he placed it on her right hip. Then he put her right hand on her left shoulder.

She trembled slightly at his innocent brushes. He looked intently at her chest, her rosy nipples were hardening. His hands longed to touch her amazingly soft body, but then she would most definitely go crazy. His stare lifted to her face, her breathing was haggard and her eyes were wary and scared.

He tried to think of a way to make her more relaxed. He didn't want to copy her stiff, scared form on paper. Perhaps he should have asked a female of whom he shared a stronger relationship with. But Sakura _was_ one of the only few who he shared a bond with. He racked his brain for a way to quickly secure trust and strengthen his bond with the kuniochi.

_A kiss._

He had read that a kiss is to join lips to express feelings of passion, trust, respect and affection. Without hesitation, he folded his fingers under her chin and forced her to face upwards. He leaned in and pressed his lips firmly against hers. Her eyes widened at his actions, his eyes were open as well and they bore straight into hers. The hairs on the back of his neck raised, and his stomach felt pleasantly light. Her lips were warm, soft and sweet.

Sakura felt the same feeling in her stomach as Sai did. She felt wonderfully comfortable and safe on his chest. There was also an unpleasant twinge in her chest as she remembered that she only felt like this when she saw Sasuke.

"_Could I have fallen for __Sai__ too?_"

She tried to push the guilty thoughts away and push Sai away as well, but her body refused to cooperate. Fortunately, he did pull away. They looked at each other, Sakura's arms still placed the way he had put them. He licked his lips, trying to get rid of the prickling sensation. She blinked, collecting her thoughts and her voice; "That was kinda sexual." She rasped, feeling dizzy.

"That wasn't sexual." He said, glancing at her plump lips which seemed to be a lot brighter than before he kissed her. "It was a method to secure our trust." He saw her frown, preparing to object.

"_This_ is sexual."

His fingers uncurled from under her chin and moved to the back of her neck. He placed his lips on hers once more, sucking gently on her lower lip. Her lips tasted like warm candy. His arm pulled her tighter against his body, crushing her as he bent her head back to get a better angle. Her thick lashes fluttered shut as she parted her lips. He eagerly let his tongue explore the hot, wet caverns of her mouth. Her insides coiled pleasantly, she cursed her virgin flesh for being so easily aroused by just a kiss.

--

Oops, sorry end of crappy chapter.

This is Part 1. The reason why I divided this chapter was because I might not be able to be very active from now till March. Since I don't want to leave you guys waiting for so long, I decided to upload the next Part sometime in February or later this month. Or when I get 50 or more reviews. -cough-

Yes, I know this is crap and once again I delayed the actual lemon. I SWEAR FROM NOW ON I WILL NEVER PROMISE LEMONS AGAIN!

Review. It's the best way to yell at me and tell me what a deceitful-little-loophole-finding-bitch I am. You can call me "Stupid", "Faggot" and "George Bush". Guess I deserve it this time. Toodles, I am late for work but I still love you!

P.S. I haven't had a time to read this over so excuse me for all the typos and grammatical mistakes and other annoying stuff like that.

P.P.S I really hate this font. :(


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